I am a year 8 student at Glen innes school. I am in Room 8 and my teacher is Mrs Ramkolowan

Tuesday 17 May 2016

Shorty's dream

WALHT: Write a interesting and enjoyable narrative

It was just one hot summer day. The sun was hot like a heater. Alex wasn’t a normal boy he couldn’t do things like other people because he was to small. Alex had brown eyes and short black straight hair. Alex loved all things that had to do with danger even though he was small. All Alex had wished for was to be big. He was in the alleyway until something caught his attention.


“I wonder what it would be like to be big?” Alex kept repeating to himself. Alex had used all his 11:11,birthday wishes and shooting star wishes to be big. While Alex was walking he overheard two big,buff and scary men with stubbles talking, they sounded as if  they were mad like a roaring car luckily they didn’t notice him. The two men were planning to kidnap someone. Alex couldn’t believe it but he knew he wasn’t just going to leave like he didn’t hear anything. He will come back tomorrow afternoon.


Alex  went walking again down the alleyway hoping he wouldn’t be seen by the two big men. Minutes later Alex heard a van pull up and men running out like a tsunami was coming. *Moment of darkness*, Alex woke up strapped to a chair next to another person. His hands were sweating like he's been running for hours,heart pounding like beat drops and kept stuttering. He didn’t want to die.


While Alex was strapped to the chair he felt a little weird like something was happening to his body, he started to get a headache. *Boom* the chair broke and he was growing bigger. The two big,buff and scary men tried to wrap the rope around his legs. He grabbed the other person and went away. However Alex took the two men to the police station. Alex loved being tall although he couldn’t get in his house.


He was too big, he started shrinking and shrinking. “AHHHH” shrieked Alex “ ohhh thank god that was just a dream”.


3 comments:

Unknown said...

Hi Alyssa!
I really enjoyed reading your story. It was very amazing. I liked all the similes you used in your writing. My favourite one is when you used " men were running out like a tsunami was coming." In some point in your story, did you think about changing the problem?

Keep up the GREAT work Alyssa!

Unknown said...

Hi Alyssa,
I really like how he captured the two men. I don't really get it and kept stumbling but he's in a chair?. I thought that the story needed better ending. Maybe next time you can.

Unknown said...

Hi Alyssa I thought that you writing great and I hope that you can make some more because I really enjoyed your writing.

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